When it Comes to Behavior, Relationships Count

Yes… we know. You’re tired of hearing about building relationships as the answer to all behavior problems. Building positive relationships with students is more than just a classroom management strategy—it’s the foundation for a thriving educational environment. When students feel understood, respected, and valued, they are more likely to engage in the learning process and exhibit positive behavior. But why exactly do these relationships make such a difference? Let’s explore the powerful impact that positive teacher-student connections can have on classroom behavior.

Defining and Establishing Trust and Respect

At the core of any meaningful relationship is trust and mutual respect. When I have a problem as an adult, who will I ask for help? Likely a person I trust and respect. Students are no different… When students trust their teacher, they are more willing to take academic risks, participate in class discussions, and follow classroom rules. They are also more likely to reciprocate that respect with their behavior. 

Trust and respect are built through consistent, authentic interactions where students feel heard and supported. Simple acts like greeting students at the door, acknowledging their efforts, and showing interest in their lives outside of school can go a long way in establishing this trust.

Fostering a Sense of Belonging

Every student wants to feel like they belong. Positive relationships help students connect to their teachers and peers, creating a sense of community in the classroom. When students feel part of something bigger than themselves, they are more inclined to behave in ways that support the group’s goals.

A sense of belonging also reduces feelings of isolation. When students feel included, accepted, and seen, they are less likely to act out negatively to gain attention or express frustration. Instead, they are more likely to engage positively and support their classmates.

Enhancing Motivation and Engagement

Once you’ve established trust and respect and created the conditions for positive interactions as a norm in your classroom, higher levels of motivation will follow. When students know their teacher believes in them and is invested in their success, they experience motivation to succeed. 

What about engagement? Students who feel connected to their teacher are also more likely to be engaged in learning, and active participation in the classroom reduces the likelihood of disruptive behavior. They are focused on learning and achieving their goals, which naturally leads to a more positive classroom environment.

How Can I Start or Reset This Process?

Start the process by defining trust and respect as a class. Work together to co-create examples of what trust and respect mean to you as a group. What does it look like? What does it sound like?  You may be surprised to see that your definitions may not be the same as your students. Take this as an opportunity to learn what students need from you as a teacher to feel respected and valued. 

Make sure all students have an opportunity to participate in this process. Have some shy students who don’t want to share? Try having everyone write their examples on sticky notes and then categorize or summarize them as a class.  When everyone has agreed with the definitions, post it in a visible place in the classroom and refer to it as often as possible while demonstrating positive interactions. 

As a Whole… 

Positive relationships with students are truly the cornerstone of effective classroom management. These relationships foster trust, respect, a sense of belonging, motivation, engagement, and open communication—all of which contribute to positive classroom behavior. By investing time and effort into building these connections, teachers can create a learning environment where students feel valued, understood, and motivated to succeed. The result is not just better behavior but a classroom where every student can thrive.